Jon & Kate – A Prayer
6 Oct2009
Oh Jon & Kate – Please go away
Now
We don’t want to hear about you ever again
I do not want to see your faces on my TV screen
I do not want to read about you in a newspaper, magazine or trade publication
I do not want to glance at you when my Yahoo homepage opens in the morning
I do not even want to see your names on the bumper-banner-advertisements
That appear all over the CNN website (because they are short of cash)
Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Get it?
The only time I will hear of you again is fifteen years from now
When your sad brood appear on Oprah or Larry King (God willing…)
To tell us what douchebags you were and how you ruined their little lives
Jon will be there with his fourth wife, a former porn-star/actress
And Kate will be there with her much older Russian millionaire boyfriend
Who thinks her haircut looks ‘sessy’.
The kids will have all left their foster homes at the age of eighteen
And – of course – have formed an Ashram in the woods of Oregon
There they sell ‘Gosselin Honey’ from their own beehives
And perform in a rock band collective that tours with Phish.
Jon & Kate – This is my vision of the future. My children’s future.
Please respect that….
And go.
- In: Main
4 Responses to Jon & Kate – A Prayer
Mike
October 6th, 2009 at 11:36 am
You know, I watch so little regular TV these days that I had no idea who these two idiots were until someone told me about it three weeks ago. Sports, History Channel or National Geographic, Comedy Central, MSNBC and Fox between 8-9 to laugh at the two clowns talking about the far extremes of the same story, CNBC (for Melissa Lee between 5 and 6), and FUSE once in a while. That is it. Someone had to tell me who Miley Cyrus was a few years ago, because I had no clue. Sometimes, my ignorant bliss pays off!
mburma
October 6th, 2009 at 11:37 pm
Since I sit out here in Limbo, sometimes the sounds from the TV help me get out of my own head. But there are commercials here like everywhere else and you can just get SLAMMED with this nonsense – unsuspectingly. Kerry and her sibs used to watch the show when it was just about this couple with eight cute kids, so I have been hearing about these idiots for a while now.
BTW – Hannah Montana posters are all over the grocery stores out here. She’s big business. Like Coke.
Bowmar Brain
October 7th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Now, if you just watch The Soup, you would have known that all of this was coming months and months ago. Every week, Joel McHale would introduce another clip of Kate complaining endlessly, taking shots at Jon, with Jon just sitting there blankly looking at the camera, with snarky comments from Joel about what Jon was really thinking and what he really wanted to do. And it all came true. I’m with you — I don’t want to hear their names or see their faces any more … ever.
mburma
October 7th, 2009 at 10:05 am
If they could just banish them from the news programs – like CNN – that would be a big help.