Food

July 7, 2008 | Filed Under Main |

Have you ever eaten a thick piece of cardboard with cinnamon sugar on it? I have. It’s called a Low Fat Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart. Ghastly thing. I think they use them to make houses in Indonesia.

I truly appreciate the concern folks out there have about my (our) health. But let’s not get crazy. Sometimes you take natural foods – foods that have been around for centuries! – remove the fat and replace it with chemicals. Bad, bad chemicals. I came home from my short day of work Saturday and realized I had not eaten lunch. So, I made myself a couple of PB&J’s to tide me over. That was around 3PM. Around 7:30, I was just having dinner and I started to have cramps. I ran to the bathroom… and repeated that trip many more times until somewhere around midnight. It was the “Reduced Fat” JiF I somehow managed to buy. Totally screwed with my system.

And what are you people in New York doing? Banished the “trans-fats”, have ya? Made them a crime, eh? And replaced it with what? Do you know what they are feeding you now? Probably not. So now the only place I can get a real cannoli is… Italy?? For those two or three times a year I have a cannoli?! Why don’t they just legislate behavior? Have a real cannoli twice a week – no danger. Have a box of cannolis every day – “trans-fat” or no – and you are obese! Come on! How many guys drinking Coors Light are skinny? How many?! You should have to sign in every time you walk into a MacDonalds so the gangly, dweeb manager can say, “Sorry, Mr. Clark. You’ve been here three times already this week. You’re cut off!”

But that’s a politician for you. That’s why we live in a “Nanny Society” in the States. They are always looking for that easy, no-harm-no-foul vote. Balance the budget (which is their job)? Forget about it. Pass a law to ban a food (not their job)? Right there to get it done… and then go back to sleep. What imbeciles.

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6 comments so far
  1. Mike July 8, 2008 9:48 am

    OK…Here is the fun part…I don’t eat fruit, fish, and rarely any vegetables at all…But who is the heathiest person you know? Yeah, me, the guy that thought he was missing out because I never got a day off from school for being sick. And the only Pop Tarts you should eat are the chocolate frosted ones..the ones with no health benefits at all! And I dare anyone to try to make a healthy hot dog..

  2. mburma July 8, 2008 10:56 am

    Wouldn’t those be turkey dogs?

  3. Tommy July 9, 2008 10:05 am

    Get yourself a Smores Pop Tart. They are the greatest breakfast food product ever invented.

  4. mburma July 9, 2008 10:35 pm

    I’m old. I have to eat a real breakfast. Pop Tarts are snacks… like “Snacky Cakes”.

  5. Tommy July 10, 2008 6:56 am

    They are good at all times. sometimes Pop Tarts are all I eat all day. Thats actually kind of sad when you see it all typed out.

  6. Mom July 11, 2008 4:26 am

    You know, I tried to feed the squirrels ans birds low fat corn chips - No Way! Even they knew the things had no taste.