Have you ever eaten a thick piece of cardboard with cinnamon sugar on it? I have. It’s called a Low Fat Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tart. Ghastly thing. I think they use them to make houses in Indonesia.

I truly appreciate the concern folks out there have about my (our) health. But let’s not get crazy. Sometimes you take natural foods – foods that have been around for centuries! – remove the fat and replace it with chemicals. Bad, bad chemicals. I came home from my short day of work Saturday and realized I had not eaten lunch. So, I made myself a couple of PB&J’s to tide me over. That was around 3PM. Around 7:30, I was just having dinner and I started to have cramps. I ran to the bathroom… and repeated that trip many more times until somewhere around midnight. It was the “Reduced Fat” JiF I somehow managed to buy. Totally screwed with my system.

And what are you people in New York doing? Banished the “trans-fats”, have ya? Made them a crime, eh? And replaced it with what? Do you know what they are feeding you now? Probably not. So now the only place I can get a real cannoli is… Italy?? For those two or three times a year I have a cannoli?! Why don’t they just legislate behavior? Have a real cannoli twice a week – no danger. Have a box of cannolis every day – “trans-fat” or no – and you are obese! Come on! How many guys drinking Coors Light are skinny? How many?! You should have to sign in every time you walk into a MacDonalds so the gangly, dweeb manager can say, “Sorry, Mr. Clark. You’ve been here three times already this week. You’re cut off!”

But that’s a politician for you. That’s why we live in a “Nanny Society” in the States. They are always looking for that easy, no-harm-no-foul vote. Balance the budget (which is their job)? Forget about it. Pass a law to ban a food (not their job)? Right there to get it done… and then go back to sleep. What imbeciles.

Be Sociable, Share!

•